from the moment they met, it was murder

July 15, 2007

i think i would make an excellent sports journalist, for the following reasons:

  • i watch way too much sport.
  • i am coherent without being too smart for the average herald sun reader (admittedly not very smart).
  • i often commentate on the tennis, and the actual commentators will act as my echo.
  • i enjoy making hollow predictions, pointing the finger, name-calling and taking other such liberties.
  • i like having my opinions noticed by a wide audience.

there are a few things holding me back, though. first and foremost would be my hatred of mainstream media. this isn’t just because i’m a latecomer to the punk movement and i feel like i owe it to my immature, rebellious self to just hate on anything that wields genuine power over society; i actually have honest and valid disdain for nearly all forms of broadcasting. and, to quote noam chomsky, “sports play a societal role in engendering jingoist and chauvinist attitudes. they’re designed to organize a community to be committed to their gladiators.” obviously, this presents me with a dilemma. it’s not that i can’t admit that these semi-violent and aggresive games are presented in a way as to foster patriotism and an appreciation for miltary-style regimented combat; i just want to believe there is something more to it than that. i like seeing skills on show, and i do get swept up easily by crowds and atmosphere. maybe that’s the point? in my opinion, it’s probably better to watch a game of sport than to get behind the war in iraq, and my sports fandom doesn’t translate into fascism (most of the time).

at any rate:


good citizens, you decide.

today was alright, given how insanely tired i was. i got up early-ish to go to this miff volunteer information session thing, and it must be said, of all the compulsory information sessions i have been to, this one was the least formal, and the least informative. i did get a nice free t-shirt, however, and seven free tickets to the festival. this is actually kinda ungood, since as it stands there are only a few films that i know for sure that i want to see: time, the new kim ki-duk (apparently his thirteenth film); inland empire, the new david lynch (link to the wikipedia page because the official site seems to be down at the moment); and rescue dawn (werner herzog). not that i’m some herzog fan, i’m just all about christian bale.

after the miff thing, and some aimless rooting around my favourite city stores, i went to acmi to check out the best of the independent games festival that i’ve been meaning to see for ages. most of the games were pretty decent, if not a little childish, but everyday shooter is the coolest thing ever. think geometry wars, but to music!

if you don’t feel like waiting for the official release/paying for this game, you can get some kinda similar stuff for free here.

it’s no secret i’ve been on a video games bender recently. i forget who it was, but i was arguing with someone that playing a good video game (keyword being good) can be as rewarding and as valuable an experience as reading a book or watching a movie. on the one hand, many video games have narratives that are as strong – if not stronger – than most of those you will encounter at any given hoyts theatre; on the other hand, to assume the identity of characters within these narratives offers a uniquely hyper-cinematic experience in its own right. and that is to say nothing of the aesthetic of games themselves as opposed to film or television. don’t believe me? you obviously still haven’t played grim fandango, or the last express, or system shock, or either of the half life games.

i also bought marie antoinette on dvd and the brush-off by shane maloney. so there you go.

surprisingly, the new yellowcard album has been rocking me to the core. i admit, anything that ryan mendez plays on will be like…music to my ears…or something…but seriously, this album shreds. check out the new songs on their myspace page. and hopefully i’ll have some more photos and anecdotes to share with you come august!

my moods have been anything but stable since my last entry. i’m so conflicted, and if there was one thing that i probably should be trying to gain from my current situation, it’s a stronger sense of self. but i’m learning to let go of the sedimentary romanticism of my youth. distractions work, but they are only temporary, and with that realisation comes a certain vertigo. absolutism is cowardly and near-sighted, and nothing makes you feel more human than having your values put to the test. but i like to think i’m reasonably compassionate, in spite of appearances. there is an infinite richness and pride to be gained from acts of forgiveness. and it’s definitely not the easy way out. maybe the people i know don’t seem to understand that just yet. or maybe they do, and i’m the one who’s been dragging behind for the past few years. i’m still working on it, and i have a long way to go yet. i don’t know where it will end up, but progress is progress, and my resolve is simply not to go backwards.

yeah so this entry wasn’t a fraction of the illuminating memoir i had hoped it would be. it’s scary that i feel i am able to write more passionately and clearly about a video game than i am about my own life. i enrolled in a creative writing course which begins on august 16th. maybe then i’ll be able to see things in that poetic way which has always been my dream. my argumentative power far outweighs my lyrical power, and the best ideas i have are always subversive and devious. i used to find this kind of blogging to be theraputic; now it feels stunted and (sometimes) even forced. maybe i’m still too young to see real beauty in things.

so long, friends.


2 Responses to “from the moment they met, it was murder”

  1. ricep0d said

    i know you told me to, so i tried baby, i really tried. i got half way through both the sports videos and really, no.

    backwardness is only directional when there is a clear “forward”. it all just depends on where you want to take it. I don’t want to force your hand in anything, one could argue the progress or backwardness of any decision, life marches on, right? but things are changing, things needed to change, and soberly, i think the changes are in the positive direction. we don’t need answers yet. we just need to know that at some stage, everything would seem easier, and they would be.

    what do the miff shirts look like? they are no photos on the website dammit, i need to coordinate my wardrobe. i can’t wait though. and i knew you would come around on the kim ki duk. you should watch 3-iron before it all starts. samaritan girl was actually on world movies a month ago. no the best thing about volunteering is getting to see the movies you initially had no interest in but finding the fantastic in the ordinary. oh and Bad Sheep. i’m very excited about the killer sheep.

  2. Tim said

    God dammit.

    Second to comment again.

    Really dug that one. But after speaking more spanish than english these days, my ability to understand your narrative was dwindling.

    Now that I have commented twice, do the nice thing and say hello to me on myspace. If that woman did, so can you.

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